Romance Scams Explained: Red Flags and How to Stay Safe

Romance scams, one of the most common types of scams in the United States, begin with an emotional connection. Fraudsters, who are posing as potential romantic partners, will often talk to their victims for weeks, even months, before asking for anything in return. To protect yourself and your loved ones from a romance scam, let’s dive into how they work, the toll it can take on victims, the most common red flags to watch out for, and tips on how to prevent this kind of fraud.

How romance scams work

A romance scam begins with a fraudster creating fake profiles on social media and dating sites with the goal of connecting with an unassuming target. A scam can be a short con, where the scammer is looking to exploit the relationship early on, or it can be a long con, where the scam lasts for months or even years before the exploitation happens.

Once the connection is built, and depending on their preferred timeline, fraudsters will eventually start to ask for money. This request is often in the form of gift cards, electronic transfers or “investing” in cryptocurrencies. The amounts can start small and after time get larger or more frequent.

Fraudsters will take advantage of the emotional bonds they have created with the victim when asking for funds, often stating there is a family emergency or that something bad may happen to them if funds are not sent.

Often, fraudsters will ask to keep their monetary requests a secret or even suggest what to say to friends, family or your financial institution in the event you are questioned about your financial activity.

At other times, fraudsters want to move funds through the victim’s account. Instead of the victim giving them money, scammers will send the victim stolen or illicit funds. The scammer will then quickly ask the victim to send the funds to another individual who is part of the scam or ask for account information to debit the account. Their goal is to remove the money from the account before the funds are returned and debited from the victim. What many people don’t realize is that if fraudulent funds are processed through an account and then withdrawn, the account holder is responsible for paying those funds back, even if that means the funds are no longer in the account, thus creating an overdrawn balance.

The appearance of a deposit in the victim’s account creates a false sense of security that makes the victim feel safe in providing money or account access.

The emotional cost of a romance scam

In addition to monetary loss, there can also be a significant emotional toll. People who are targeted by these scams lose what they thought was a real connection with another person. The person that they felt they knew, perhaps even loved, never really existed. Victims must come to terms with the fact that this person they thought they knew had existed for one purpose: fraudulent financial gain.

Romance scam red flags

• Conversation Location: Fraudsters often ask their targets to talk outside a traditional social application. For example, instead of chatting on a dating app or social media, they ask to talk on applications like WhatsApp or Telegram.
• Love Bombing: Fraudsters will often try to quickly create an emotion connection. Look out for someone who quickly gives you constant affection and compliments.
• Unreachable: Fraudsters will often state that they are working or traveling overseas. This explains why they are unreachable at times.
• No Video Calls: Fraudsters often refuse video calls or will only video chat if it is planned.
• Lack of Verifiable Information: You cannot find any information about the individual online (LinkedIn, Facebook, search engines, etc.) This is because their identity is not real.

Fraud prevention tips

If you are in or thinking about a relationship with someone that you have met online, keep these suggestions in mind to protect yourself from being defrauded:

• Do not send money or gifts to people that you have not met in person.
• Do not share sensitive information about yourself such as bank account numbers, account login information, or your Social Security number.
• If the person refuses to meet in person or always cancels in-person meetings, this is a sign they could be a fraudster attempting to scam you.
• Ask questions and be on the lookout for inconsistent answers.
• Beware of a person who tries to isolate you from friends and family.
• Talk to a trusted friend or family member about this new person in your life and pay attention if they express concerns. They have known you longer and have your best interests in mind.
• Perform an image search of their profile picture to see if it’s linked to different names or reveals details that do not match what they have told you.
• Do not have a false sense of security because you made the first contact.
• If they have a way to take pictures, they can video call.
• Don’t believe their stories about new investments that are wildly successful.
• If something feels off, always trust your gut.

What to do if you’re a victim of a romance scam

If you suspect the person you are talking to is a fraudster, immediately stop all communications with them. If you met on a dating or social media site, report them to the site administrators. Report any suspected online romance scams to the Internet Crime Complaint Center and the FTC.

Most importantly, if you suspect you have been the target of a financial scam contact your financial institution immediately. They can help with the process of securing your financial information and may even be able to help assist with recovering funds when possible. They are here to help you in the event of fraud. Scams can happen to anyone- reporting it quickly can make a difference and gives your financial institution the best chance to help you.